Why Buying Her a Drink from across the Bar Might Kill Your Chances

"Talk to her before buying her a drink"

“Talk to her before buying her a drink”


You have probably been tempted on plenty of occasions to be the guy that buys women a drink from across the bar to signal your interest. Maybe you saw it in a movie or maybe you’ve seen other guys do it. It seems like a good idea at first, and it may work for you every now and then, but in general it might be a bad idea to buy her a drink from across the bar. It might not seem like it, but it may actually wind up hurting your chances of getting to talk to her or hooking up with her at the end of the night. Knowing some of the reasons why this type of move might bother some women will help you judge whether or not you should go for it.

It Might Come Off As Creepy or Not Forward Enough

Sometimes buying a woman a drink from across the bar can have the opposite effect of what you wanted. She might think you are being a little strange or creepy by not coming over to her directly to buy her a drink, and if she gets that feeling it’ll be hard for you to move on from it. She might not also like the indirect nature of it, so you might have better luck going over to her directly and asking her if she would like for you to buy her a drink. This shows more initiative and boldness, since it requires face-to-face contact unlike ordering her a drink from across the bar or club.

She Might Be Uncomfortable With It

"Beware, this might happen with you"

“Beware, this might happen with you”


Some women just don’t like guys buying them drinks, period. This really sucks because it takes away one of the main ways to start a conversation, but it’s best to accept this fact of life. Some women are fine with guys buying drinks for them as long as they get to see it being made, so this might be a serious reason for her to be uncomfortable with you buying her a drink from across the bar. If she’s the type of woman that does not want guys to buy drinks for her, buying her a drink from across the bar is a sure way to ensure that you have no chance with her.

She Might Not Be Looking for the Attention

Strange as it is, some women go to bars because they want to relax, not because they’re looking for someone to go home with. She might not appreciate if you buy her a drink from across the bar because she isn’t looking for that kind of attention, and she may even feel guilty that you spent money on her. The easiest way to solve these issues is by going up to her directly and asking to buy her a drink so that she has the choice to say yes or no. She might not say yes, but at least you still have a chance to talk to her.

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